You’ve never even seen the real world — Well, I suppose this is a developmental milestone we all hit eventually — the “handwringing over media like it’s a shortcut to societal improvement” stage. These days, the only activism most of us can routinely manage is fighting about kids’ movies with bigots on Twitter, so it behooves us to…

How we dehumanize people who challenge our worldview — So I was dissociating the other day as ya do, and it occurred to me that I haven’t been as lonely in my unreal fog of late. More people talking about dissociating these days, especially in my peer group. Then it occurred to me that my peer group is, well…

Kitten laundering is the next big thing, tell your friends — ‘Lo child, Hey, it’s Pride! I hope your local celebration is busier than a dyke in a hardware store, and absolutely fascist-free. As you can probably imagine, my shelves, countertops, and surfaces just overflow with dragon ass and anime girls, because I paint almost every day and I’m constantly whining…

A sonnet about the things we left at sea — So… during my transition, one of the first things I did was change my name. Legally, the whole deal. …

Mea culpa, my imaginary children — ‘Lo child, They say that every painting is a self-portrait, that an artist can’t help but depict themselves in their work, but I feel that’s got more to do with our impulse to personify everything — like we discussed in our spicy talk about deontology, we have a pretty universal…

St. Peter’s Here for an Audit — So a couple of days ago, Activision-Blizzard-King-McDonalds-Playmobil dropped this hilarious chart on us and bellied up to the internet for their Good Boy Activism Points. They knew they would get Good Boy Activism Points for this because as you can see from their chart, they are certain that everything humans…

No, it’s not ‘money’ this time, it’s ALWAYS ‘money’ — ‘Lo child, It might surprise you, but I see myself as a lucky person. If anyone was counting, there are plenty of reasons to fault my luck, but I’m an absurdist, y’see, and so I think of ‘luck’ in its most pure and value-neutral form. In a surprisingly short…

It’s that seizure you’ve been waiting for! — ‘Lo child, Seen your shadow lately? I’ve been missing mine, which troubles me — reminds me of this thing I saw on the zoetrope recently. Mine doesn’t get Riverdale, so I ended up watching a story by Hans Christian Andersen called “The Shadow.” It’s about a man whose shadow runs…