Just a Completely Normal Species

No need to hide your xenomorph booty

‘Lo child,

I talk to you the way I do — so familiarly — because I don’t really have friends. The monstrous kind of being I am makes friends slowly and painfully, and I’m extremely clumsy, so I have a tendency to squash and stomp small, fragile things. But I’m also like one of those giant mountain dogs that thinks they’re…